Bruce Lawson’s personal site

Happy Birthday to me

(Last Updated on )

Well, I’m thirty-nine today. You might think, if you read last year’s birthday post, that I’d be reporting a monumental hangover, or that I’d had a wild night of sex with a Jewish woman (and thus fulfilled my lapsed ambition of copulating with a female representative of each of the world’s major religions). But no. I awoke at 7.30 and went off as usual to my Karate lesson. On a Sunday morning!

As I approach the big 40, with two small kids, I’ve realised that my best chance of being healthy enough to see the kids leave home, and take Nongyow on our long-planned overland trip from London to Bangkok is to do something about my beer belly and my propensity to break into a sweat just walking to the fridge for another can of Guinness. And do it now.

So – it’s six months since I had my last cigarette; I’m doing regular exercise and enjoying it (this from the man who skived Games at school every week for four years!), and I’ve valiantly resisted the temptations of sultry Jewesses (because being dismembered by Nongyow obviously precludes any dotage at all, let alone a healthy one).

And, oddly, I do feel better*. Now, where’s my beer?

* Except for the lack of Jewish girls, that is.

16 Responses to “ Happy Birthday to me ”

Comment by Ian Lloyd

Having seen many Thai news reports, I can well believe that Nongyow might not think twice about taking a bread knife to a part of your body that is generally best left unsliced 😀

Happy birthday, and don’t give up all your vices (or at least, not completely!)

Comment by Anon

As a feminist, I take great exception to your ambition of “copulating” with women from different religions.

It demeans these women, treating them solely as sex-objects. Making love is a spiritual union between two equal partners.

Shame on you.

Comment by Bruce

Anon – I said “copulate” (“To engage in coitus or sexual intercourse”), not “attack”, so it was equal partners.

Consensting adults can choose to have sex together without it being a “spiritual union”. It’s just a shag. I hadn’t realised that modern femininsm required Barbara Cartland-style misty-eyed romance. Colour me confused.

goodwitch – does “mazl-tov” mean you’re Jewish? What are you doing later?

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