Bruce Lawson's personal site

My big Friday night

I had a pretty BIG weekend with some old schoolmates and my brother, in our old stomping ground.


three late 30s men looking civilised in a bar You see, it all started off very civilised; me, Shez, Guy, Lemmy, Nick and Glenn getting together and going to The Queen’s Head which was our local 1983 – 93, while we were at school and afterwards, before that scuzzy old pub gets demolished (no doubt to make way for a new anonymous brewery-standard bop’n’bonk where teenagers in hoodies glower and slouch to ear-splitting “rap” music while texting each other to arrange their next happy-slapping victim).

That pub saw our courtships, our exam results, our disagreements and drunken excesses; my band The Lucies played there a couple of times; I went there to announce to the lads I’d successfully seduced Sandeep, the sexy Punjabi schoolgirl who worked in the shoeshop; any time you fancied a pint, you could guarantee that at least one of your mates would be in there. So it seemed only right to see it off in style. As you can see, the Big Night Out began in proper sober style with Glenn, Guy and Nick having a civilised discussion about mortgages and the tax hit of company cars .

a late 30s man sweating on a dancefloorHowever, after a few cheap Guinnesses, 11 o’clock came round and we paid our £2 to get into the punk/ metal disco in the other room. The sounds were disturbingly modern, and the youngsters were doing some kind of jerky dance completely unrelated to the classic Pogo or Kick, so we requested some Stiff Little Fingers and Sex Pistols and strutted our stuff. We were not joined on the dancefloor, presumably because the new generation of locals preferred to watch and learn. The way they smiled to each other and pointed showed how impressed they were. This pic shows Glenn perspiring as he generously introduces their hungry minds to their punk heritage.

closeup of penis with three rings through glans, five rings through scrotum and four teflon balls implanted under penis skinLemmy has some spectacular body modifications in the pubic area, and wasn’t bashful about showing them to us. But then, the Queen’s Head isn’t a place for standing on ceremony. The lump you see on his dick is actually four large teflon balls implanted under the skin of the shaft of the penis, which move around independently. That’s three Prince Albert rings and five scrotal rings you can count there. Shez went with him for the last Albert and videoed it. Lemmy had an out-of-body experience; the video tilts violently as Shez tried valiantly not to pass out.

four late 30s men and women looking spectacularly drunk toasting the cameraAmazingly, we bumped into someone that one of our gang lost their virginity to in a municipal playpark in 1983. That required a few more rounds to toast the loss of innocence, strange co-incidence, and council recreational facilities. Later on, in the Curry House, mortgages and taxes are forgotten as conversational gambits, as emotion takes over and every one loves each other very much. Rachel, Guy, Beckie and Nick are pictured here, all tired and emotional.

Shez, a late 30s man, looking dreadful the mornig afterIt would be nice to report that the rest of us (after staying up drinking, smoking and desperately attempting to inflate airbeds until 4 a.m.) looked better than Shez did on first arriving downstairs the next morning. It would be untrue, however.

Until next time, gang. And – Viva The Queen’s Head!

Dear visitor: this post is suddenly getting lots of traffic. To satisfy my curiosity, please leave a note below to tell me where you found this site from. Thanks!

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Buy "Calling For The Moon", my debut album of songs I wrote while living in Thailand, India, Turkey. (Only £2, on Bandcamp.)

25 Responses to “ My big Friday night ”

Comment by Chris McEvoy

I am disgusted that you are displaying a picture of someone SMOKING in a public place.

I will be cancelling my subscription to your esteemed organ at once.

[Ed – picture subsequently removed for fear of lawsuits]

Comment by Allan

it clearly says not safe for work, but still I’m tempted to click through. what was i thinking.

so bruce, you gone digital, or did you have to have that gem of a photo actually developed?

Comment by Glenn

Shez – There are some who would say you look crap before a heavy night out. Though of course I’m not one of them…

Comment by lynne

I was wondering what Shez would have thought if someone had showed him that picture in the 6th form! Its great you guys are back in touch – I’ll send Glenn to my dance teacher so expect good things next time around – perhaps we could sell tickets?

Comment by LemmyX

Has this now opened the flood gates of penis piercing photo shoots Bruce lol? I can always send you more. Great night by the way, it reminds me of why I choose to stay alive. X

Comment by Shez

Lynne, if someone had shown me that picture while I was in 6th form I would have been immensely proud because:

a) still got the cracking friends I had from school
b) I still rock, even if I look progressively more crap afterwards (and only slightly less crap before as Glenn rightly points out!)
c) I’ve still got most of my hair

Sending Glenn to dance lessons would be a relief to us all! 😉

Comment by Bruce

Are you suggesting, Lemmy, that the hair so obviously removed from your Gentleman’s Appendage has been harvested by Shez for use as a toupé???

Comment by Stevie C

Ha ha!!
Im younger than all of you.
Going off to listen to R an B Cronk
arrange a happy slapping by txt
stand in that underpass near arrow valley
park listening to model airplanes droning
a sound feels like the whole town is under a death sentence.
What would Christmas in Redditch be
without it.

Comment by jules

i found this link while looking for wrinkled balls in google images to prove my point on forums. i didn’t find any pictures under wrinkled balls, but i did find this one under penis balls.

Comment by Donia

I’m just a girl who likes looking at penises and I linked here from Google images for a close up shot of said penis.

Comment by Kim/Jen

Never seen anything so unique in my life. Thanks for the pic. Wish you all where in the states we could all have a good time.

Comment by james w.

Comment by Chris McEvoy <<<<dumb ass
July 6th, 2005 at 1:05 pm
I am disgusted that you are displaying a picture of someone SMOKING in a public place.

I will be cancelling my subscription to your esteemed organ at once.

[Ed – picture subsequently removed for fear of lawsuits]
you got to be shitting me??????????
get a freaking life you dip shit Chris McEvoy

Comment by Charlie

How did I find this page? Well, watching CBEEBIES with my 2 year old, Show me, show me came on. Bored and doing Google searches on one of the presenters, Google linked me to your site (hysterical in places, by the way) as you mention finding Pui whatshername attractive. Following links led me here. I’m now crying with laughter and am trying to close browsers before my curious small boy sees something he shouldn’t. Worth it!

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