Bruce Lawson’s personal site

The pencil test

My friend Cynj is proud that, at 35, she still passes “the pencil test”:

  1. you take one pencil and one bosom
  2. lift bosom and place pencil below it
  3. release bosom
  4. if the pencil is held in place by said bosom you have failed the pencil test, but if the pencil falls to the floor you have passed.

Congratulations, Cynj. Today is my 41st birthday, and I’m convinced that I would fail…

8 Responses to “ The pencil test ”

Comment by Julie Howell

Happy birthday, Bruce.

Why the hell would any woman want to pass that test?

Surely the test a near-40-something woman wants to pass is the ‘take the bra off and breasts remain at same altitude’ test.

Comment by JackP

Ahem: I’d like to introduce a new service to ladies that I am promoting with my good mate Bruce.

If you are undecided as to the quality of your bosom and wish expert analysis, simply send the topless photographs of yourself to Bruce and myself, and we’ll provide a free assessment for you.

There you go Bruce, how’s that for a birthday present?

Comment by bruce

Nice one, Jack! Actually, I’m thinking that we could “monetise” this with a premium service. Instead of sending us a photo, like the free service, for a reasonable sum of money, Jack and I could actually visit you and provide you with a while-you-wait personalised bosom evaluation!

Have pencil, will travel!

Comment by Andy Mabbett

>Have pencil, will travel!

Never mind, Bruce, it’s not the size, but what you do with it…

Happy Birthday, anyway.

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