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Well, it’s been a bit tech-heavy round these parts lately, so a bumper crop of four Friday jokes today. Do your best Billy Connolly accent and tell these to a loved one.
Q: What’s the difference between Bing Crosby and Walt Disney?
A: Bing sings, but Walt Disney.
Woman to Scotsman: What do you wear under your kilt?
Jock: Put your hand up and feel.
Woman: Oh! It’s gruesome.
Jock: Put your hand up again, it’s gruesome more.
Short-sighted Scotsman to a baker: Is that a doughnut, or a meringue?
Baker: You’re right—it’s a doughnut.
This one doesn’t really require a Scottish accent, but it fits with he
Q: How can you tell a Scotsman’s clan?
A: Put your hand up his kilt. If he’s got a quarterpounder, he’s a McDonald.
Thangkyewverymuch. I’m here all week. Try the haggis.