Archive for March, 2025

Reading List 338

This reading list is courtesy of Vivaldi browser, who pay me decent money to fight for a better web and don’t moan at me for reading all this stuff. We just released Vivaldi 7.2, which The Register called “noticeably quicker than alternatives including Chrome and Brave”. So try it, unless you enjoy having a browser that’s like a data-mining tortoise.

Reading List 337

This reading list is courtesy of Vivaldi browser, who pay me decent money to fight for a better web and don’t moan at me for reading all this stuff. We’re self-funded, with no external investors demanding we turn fascist or send them your data, and studies show that regularly browsing or emailing with it increases your innate elegance and gorgeousness. Or your money back.

Happy DMAnniversary

Today is the first anniversary of the Digital Markets Act coming into force in the EU, which means that, astrologically, the DMA is a Pisces.

According to Google’s AI generated search results, “Pisces are open to giving second chances and believe in the power of change”, so that might explain why Microsoft and Apple are still allowed to get away with screwing over other vendors’ browsers on Windows and iOS.

But also “Pisces are able to see beyond the surface to the truth of things”, so let’s hope the Commission listens to Vivaldi, Open Web Advocacy and the The Browser Choice Alliance so we see some actual enforcement against Big Tech in the coming months.

“Users of Windows were free to choose their preferred browsers, app stores, and software solutions before the DMA made it a requirement.” says Microsoft in its 2025 Compliance report published today.

What it really means is “You can choose your own browser. We’ll try to persuade you not to; we’ll try to scare you; we’ll try to make it difficult to make it default; we’ll nag you from widgets to return to Edge; we’ll wrap “links” in windows search and widgets in a microsoft-edge pseudo-protocol that can only be opened in our Edge browser, and we’ll try to reset your defaults every update. But you can definitely choose..”

Colonoscopy fun!

Last week, I had a colonoscopy after abnormal results from the routine poo-in-a-postcard test that the marvellous National Health Service send to every middle-aged person for bowel cancer screening.

The prep was unpleasant; bland food, no fruit or vegetables for 3 days before hand, no food after 1pm the day before, and two laxative drinks at 6 p.m. and 6 a.m. to make sure your bowels are entirely clean for maximum visibility. I haven’t been so empty since I backpacked around India 30 years ago and ate some bad chicken.

I was a bit nervous beforehand, so to amuse/ distract myself I instructed my local instance of Stable Diffusion to generate an image of “A pixar/ disney style character named Bott-E-Peepa, that is a cheerful friendly colonoscope about to explore someone’s bowels”. Its very first attempt was of a one-eyed bulbous purple-headed thing about to go into my anus, which isn’t my sort of thing (each to their own):

a cartoon figure with a bulbous purple head, one eye and a broad smile

A subsequent generation produced this cheerful yellow incarnation of Bott-E-Peepa, clutching his equivalent of a light sabre, called his “Polyp-Snippa”:

a yellow cartoon figure with a huge smile, clutching what appears to be a long tube with lots of unidentifiable peripherals

The reality was nothing like this, however. It was a long (very long!) finger-width tube with a device that looked like a PlayStation controller for wiggling it around my interior. The procedure was weird but painless (they gave me fentanyl –thanks, Canada!). It was also very interesting: I watched the scope’s progress around my own magnified bowel on screen in vibrant colour, with a running commentary from the very friendly gastroenterologist named Dr Mottershead (who will always be Dr Motörhead to me).

He discovered some polyps, which are growths on the inside of the bowels that can, over the course of years, turn cancerous. I was able to watch as, from an aperture of the colonoscope, a wire noose appeared, then lassooed the base of the polyp. It then tightened and an electric current was passed through it to cut off the Polyp and cauterise the wound. There are no nerves in the polyps, so I felt nothing. I was then instructed to push it out by moving my gut “as if to break wind” and out plopped the polyp. Then another aperture squirted water to wash the area.

Because the polyps were large (2 cms) they went to the lab for testing (in a bottle; they didn’t roll squishily over there by themselves like The Blob). And then I walked over to the recovery room where a nurse checked my blood pressure, removed the canula from my arm and gave me loads of chocolate biscuits and a cup of coffee before they let me go home. I estimate the colonoscopy took about 45 minutes, and I was in the hospital for 3 hours from admission to discharge.

I’m happy to report that a week later the hospital called yesterday to say no cancer was found. To keep an eye on it, I’ll be called in 3 years for another fun investigation up my bum. While I wouldn’t recommend a colonoscopy as a leisure experience, it didn’t hurt, all the staff were professional and did everything they could to make it as pleasant as it could be. I didn’t even have a bruise where they inserted the canula.

And, of course, it didn’t cost me a penny. May the spirit of Clement Atlee bless and preserve the National Health Service.